Paper Whistle

An Update. I've finished the regular school year and now I've entered the finals stage. I have two that I start on tomorrow and then the last one I don't start working on until the 17th. Then I get to have a couple of weeks off. I have also figured out my schedule for next year but until I get my grades back I won't know if I need to retake a class or not.

My vacation at work is about to come to an end. Someone is coming back that ruffles my tail feathers and so that will give me plenty to write about I'm sure.

Tabasco (my kitten) has been a lot of fun to have he cuddles a lot more then my hermit crabs did or even more then my rats which I still have. They are both curious about the other but thankfully haven't had any major issues. I've cleaned the cage twice now since getting the cat and as they roam the house freely Tabasco is extremely curious about them and smells them and even attempts to swat at them but I can tell he is far more scared of them then they are of him.



This is The Decemberists, a new band that I have to say I really enjoy listening to. They remind me of a mixture of Shout Out Louds/Kate Rusby/and Nick Drake. They have a young energy to them which surprised me that they have so many recordings. I've got the The Wife Crane
Just a really good band if you haven't listened to them. But be warned they are very catchy and you might be singing them out loud while you do your thing.

What I Listened to While Driving to Work on my iPod
1. like you crazy- Mates of State
2. I Wanted to Be Wrong- R.E.M.
3. Daddy- Pearl Jam
4. I Love You Because- Elvis Presley
5. Burned- Neil Young
6. Send Her Back- Mike Ness
7. You Know What You Are- Nine Inch Nails
8. Lumberjack Song- Blue Sage
9. Wish You Were Here- Pink Floyd
10. Can't Help Falling in Love- Pearl Jam
11. Our First Drunkdream- Pinetop Seven
12. Whipping- Pearl Jam

The Snow Came Like a Scorpion in a Boot

To get one and all caught up in my daily root gathering I must first say the life is on the up and up. I bought a new car a Meteorite metallic Yaris. It’s a cool little bubble of a car, with great gas mileage. We got a loan directly through the Toyota dealership; thankfully we got a little KY in the interest rate.
I can’t remember if I’ve also mentioned that we got a small kitten from my aunt, we named him Tabasco, due to his fiery personality. Yes I have asthma and allergies and often awake with watery eyes and tight lungs, but when I walk down the hall half asleep and my ankle takes a surprise attack from behind with needle like teeth I smile and scream.
I got word that I got an A on the last assignment from my Hades Class, which makes my average at this point an 87.5 so now all I have to do is the final at an appropriate level to pass the class.
Last note to mention is the snow as finally come to the gathering stage, and performed a might play…

The Who

They came to the Delta Center on the !3th of November. They made me turn into a little prepubescent girl screaming my head off. It's an experience that measures on indescribable. The set list was amazing and if you'd like to see what they played check out the link to 'None More Black' to the left of the screen the lucky Hoss got a real live set list from the stage. The majority of their set was hits with a little break in the middle for their mini opera which can be found on their newest album. I really liked it myself. The moment of climax for me was Baba O' Riley that being my most favorite flavors of the Who. It's hard to describe the motion of Pete and Roger while they perform. Two giants among musicians. I was lucky enough to be in the cheapest of seats at the very top far corner of the stage on Pete's side. I say lucky because I was able to see the action from a top down perspective and it was amazing to be able to focus on the men as they played. At any other seat I don't think I would have been able to focus on both they have too much presence. The last thing I'll mention about the show is the movies/visual art they played behind them was amazing and breathe taking. If you still have a single cell in your body breathing you must see them live!

Vegoose Festival in Las Vegas October 28, 2006

This was a spur of the moment kind of trip we decided to go on the 26th and so we could only go for one day, we picked the first day of the festival it had the best bands playing that day. This was the first music festival I've been to outside of the locale music festivals. It was a surreal experience, because it was held the weekend before Halloween 57% of the crowd was in Halloween costumes. Some really cool ones and a lot of girls turning normal costumes into slutty costumes.
The music was great they had four stages and for the majority of the day we stayed at the 'Snake Eyes' stage and we also visited the 'Jokers Wild' stage and the end of the night was devoted to the main stage.
We got there very early due to the time difference that we forgot about so we saw a few of the smaller bands both were good but I don't remember what their names are. A lot of high hippies doing there thing in the crowd. The first Band I was excited to see was Cat Power. I've also heard a lot about her live they say you have a 50/50 chance of a good show or a crappy show. From what I understand Chan gets stage fright luckily she was in a great mood and was an amazing show.

She did a lot of dancing and a lot of hand sighs and movement that matched her lyrics which made it very unique. She played with the Memphis Rhythm Band. They backed her last album.
Here is her setlist:
1.Intro from the Memphis band
2.The Greatest
3.Living Proof
4.Lived in Bars
5.Could We
6.EMpty Shell
7.Willie
8.The Moon
9.Naked if I want to*
10.Satisfaction#
11.Where is My Love
12.$
notes:
* a Moby Graper cover
# a Rolling Stones cover
$ I don't know this song and I couldn't find anything about it so if anyone knows let me know. There were two lines that were recurring and they were, "It's good to see you swell, and I'll give you anything but love". If anyone knows then let me know thank you kindly.



The next band at the show that I saw was the Raconteurs. This is the first time for me with this band and a funny side note. My wife and I stayed at this stage after we saw Cat Power while everyone else went to see the other band perform at the stage next to us while the roadies unloaded the stage and got it ready for the next band. We did this so we could be at the front for both Cat Power and The Raconteurs. Right before the guys came out to play a college girl came up to use from across the fence she had a press pass and she was making a documentary about fans that have to see a band on the front row. Interesting concept. She asked if she could interview myself and a guy to our left, we both agreed and she asked us a few questions off camera and then filmed our answers. It was hard to come up with answers that didn't make you sound like white trash after a tornado. I'm just glad I didn't have to answer the who's in the band question because all I knew was Jack White, So the other guy looked like the idiot. Long story short if anyone ever sees the film let me know if I acted like a shmuck.
The band was great they had a great sound together and they really complimented each other's style. It didn't feel like it was Jack's band it was a real four piece band that held equal rights over the music. I'd recommend anyone to see their shows they were great live.
Here's their setlist:
1.Intimate Secretary
2.Level
3.Steady as She goes
4.Together
5.Store Bought Bones
6.It Ain't Easy*
7.Broken Boy soldier
8.Blue Veins
9.Yellow Sun
note * a David Bowie cover.

The rest of the day was devoted to eating and resting in the shade it was a hot clear day. After the sun went down we saw the Killers and Tom Petty and the heartbreakers, both of them were amazing. I didn't write the setlists down due to no light. I wore my sunglasses and left my regular glasses in the car so once the sun went down I was blind unless I was looking directly at the stage. They played their hits and nothing that stood out at enough to make an imprint. Tom was great my first time to see him live and all I wanted to hear was I Won't Back Down and he played it! Truly a legend. All in all I'd say it was a very cool festival that I hope to visit again next year if there's a good line up.

Fiona Apple at the Huntsman Center in Salt Lake City

I was a little nervous to see Fiona Apple play live, on her own. I have heard a lot of bad rumors of her stage personality. I first saw her live when she opened for Coldplay in Tampa, FL and she was amazing. Things started off pretty intense she was screaming and convulsing during songs and did a lot of wandering around on stage for the first half of the show. We kept expecting her to walk off any minute but thankfully she didn't and she seemed to calm down as the night went on. She even talked and joked with the audience. The night was amazing with high energy; it was also great fun to watch her dance to the faster songs. I would highly recommend seeing her if you can.

Here is the setlist:

October 25 2006
1.Get Him back
2.To Your Love
3.Shadowboxer
4.The Way Things Are
5.I Know
6.Sleep to Dream
7.Limp
8.Paper Bag
9.Tymps(sick in the head song)
10.Oh Well
11.On the Bound
12.Red Red Red
13.Not About Love
14.Better Version of Me
15.Get Gone
16.Fast as you can
Encore
17.Extraordinary Machine
18.Criminal

MRI/Graduate Studies

My MRI came back normal which is a good and bad thing. I'm not dying but I don't know why I get headaches. Frustration seems to be the Olympus, of my life right now. My health is queerer then a 3 holed binocular and my graduate teacher is failing me because I can't make sense of her babbling. My car died on the way home this weekend and it looks like the bank won't give me a loan because I have too many student loans!!!!!! It is times like this that make me want to take a quick shot to the head from any firearm and then learn to play my harp.

Where is My Mind?

where is my mind... sit on your head and spin it right watch as the little fish keep swim n swim n the moment I give in I give up and I keep asking the water to lower and the man at the facet keeps turning it higher and higher. have I done something to deserve your hatred painted red like Santa’s hat but not the one you'd find on a bobcat, no no no not that one my love you have said it and I have replied and now again and a again I am one and only the statement hurts as it burns down the stub of my throat causeing a train wreck of emotions to teeter off the bridge in my chest hairs, damn I’m hot is it because I’m fat and hairy or the hell the personal hell rising up inside me I don't believe in that anymore I’m good that is to say I haven't slipped today. Shiny new plastic toys sing your mantras and jingles. I will buy whatever you are selling if only you'd stay stay don't go but then again I need this alone time this feeling of abandonment it's an issue to bring up to my care-bear heart support group clinic trial that doesn't at this time support my network system but I’m not a system I am a man that sits alone in the dark wishing for time to play with my toys and read my comic books damn the pain in my head and that reoccurring neck spasm. if it weren't for that constant ringing in my head I’d fall asleep right now but the frequency keeps changing and I can't turn it into white noise the kind of noise the dead use to talk back at us and let us know the coupon I’ve been holding on to get into heaven has expired or required at time of purchase instead of my pocket the one little tinny pocket above the right pocket the one that can only hold a quarter and that isn't much not enough for a phone call or rain coat damn the man as one and forever.

David Sedaris at the Capital

Tuesday the 24 of October at the Capital Theater I enjoyed my first encounter with David Sedaris. We arrived around 7:30 pm and David was at the end of a table full of books and Audio books. I bought a copy of Me Talk Pretty one Day and stood in line to have it signed. Once it was my turn David asked me, “If you were to going to sign a book what would you put in it?" Little did he know I had already thought about it and was prepared to answer, "A Haiku." That stumped him, he thought a little and began to write on the book next to the word DAY he added a TONA next to it so that it could be read as Me Talk Pretty one Daytona. He then said well I can't write poetry so he wrote the word Hi KU and then said he'd be reading a poem tonight. I then went in to sit at row Z chairs 111, and 113. He began at 8 pm and read a poem that will be featured on NPR this Saturday. It was a funny story about morgues. He then read a story about baby sitting. Then he read a story about gayness and drug use. All great stories I laughed a lot and enjoyed myself. David then began to read entries from a journal that were very small and funny, I looked at it like trying out new material. He then began to promote the Philippines, and an Indian Politian. He then read an excerpt from Is There No Place For Me Here? by Susan Sheehan. It's about a schizophrenic. He also mentioned that if anyone could read protégées they could have a personal copy of a protégées copy of one of his books. He then sold us on Tokyo. It's his favorite new place to visit and is thinking about moving there for a few months. He then took a few questions to end the evening. He bowed as he left the stage and the night was over. I have a great deal of appreciation for the man and enjoyed myself terribly.

Romance AD

When patrons come into the library needing to use the computer they have to come to the front desk and give us their name and we sign them up. A little game I enjoy playing involves me as the matchmaker. I'll put boys and girls next to each other in hopes that they might find true love. I don't know if anything has come of my meddling but one can always hope...

Beard Season

It's beard season and I'm growing it out baby! I've been into beards for about 5-6 years now and I'm happy to say they look better each year. I started to do it as my revolt against shaving I hate it! I have very sensitive skin so I can't use a razor. If I do I look like a 16 year old working at Burger King. That means I have to shave with an electric razor and frankly they all suck I've tried em. What I found to work is a beard trimmer, that way I can get close to the skin but never baby face smooth. I don't have to shave every day thankfully only about 3 times a week if I were diligent which I'm not.

By the time October hits I've gotten sick of shaving and throw in the towel. So Here comes the beard.

If you'd like to learn more about beards go to this site.

www.beards.org

Headaches and MRI's

It's been a bit so forgive one and all. I went to my doctor's office last Thursday about my nasty headaches. I've had headaches since puberty and they've been getting worse the older I get. I've been on a lot of different medicines to try and fix things, but haven't had a lot of success. I went in to see if we could try something new with my medication or such and he wants me to get an MRI done to see if I have a rare defect were the Cerebral part of my brain is too big and is being forced down into my spinal cord. He also wants me to go cold turkey off of all pain medicines, because if you take too many too often your body gets addicted to the stuff and gives you headaches. He said it could be a rough couple of days and it was I was in a daze for about 3-4 days. He also said it would take a couple of weeks before I started feeling better. I've been trying a bunch of hippie medicine and herbal stuff as well as meditation. It helps for the smaller headaches but hasn't done anything for the big ones. I don't get my MRI until November. I'll let you know how it turns out. I almost hope that's what I have just so I don't have to keep wondering what's wrong with my head.

School is going next week is midterms so time is flying. Still disappointed with the classes this semester. Next semester I have one required class left and then I can start taking more specialized classes. If anyone’s got a recommendation let me know.

One last thing I’m a fat ass.
I got on the scales and I weigh 211.8 which is 9lbs heavier then I have ever been in my life. I’m on my oatmeal diet breakfast and lunch I eat a bowl of oatmeal. My goal is to loose 40lbs and be at 171.8 by June 2007. So I’ll let you know how I do.

Klaus Fuchs is Not in the Poem

A Cold War Spy, A Long Way from Home

Cloudy pressure in my head
better knock off
for the day. Wake
up gray. Grain
in film,
Your eyes scratched.
You really feel this way,
am I a pass time,
an amusement. I play
chicken.
When the true
end comes
to hell and all. The false
blood donor cards I present
to you take.
All I do is
take.

Alger Hiss.
A cold war spy,
a nervous beauty
stumbles by.
I see it all before
me. The news,
the bold face font,
frowning before face.
Reel, forward catching the lost,
key home.

Jim Gaffigan Sat Sep 30 SLC, UT

Alright this was my first live comedian show thing a ma jig. It was great! I laughed and laughed. So much so that I think I pissed off the guy next to me who seemed to shave his legs seriously they were smooth. The opening comedian was very funny a guy from the south and made some great jokes.
Jim came on screaming EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE for like five minutes and it was funny. I laughed I cried I nearly passed out from laughing it was defiantly better than CATS. I didn't make a setlist of his jokes but I did buy one of his CD's. I'm defiantly going to more live comedy shows.

The Strokes Friday Sep 29 2006 In the Venue SLC,UT

The Strokes are getting better each time I see them. This is number three for me, once every album. The first time the band was visibly nervous and barely moved around on the stage. The second time there was a little more moving around and talking between band and audience. But this last time was a huge difference, the band was about on the stage shaking their money makers and Julian Casablancas was dancing and talking and even joking with the pit. It was great. The music was crisp and jumping. I haven't seen a mosh pit move like it should in a long time. They paced themselves well and showed their appreciation to the crowd by playing a request. It was a night to remember and made me feel young again. Here's the setlist enjoy.

1. You Only Live Once
2. Heart in A Cage
3. Juicebox
4. Modern Age
5. Red Light
6. Is This It
7. Ize of the World
8. Killing Lies
9. Last Nite
10.Hard to Explain
11.Ask Me Anything
12.Vision of Division
13.Reptilia
Encore
14.New York City Cops
15.Someday*
16.Walk on the Wild Side^
17.Take it or Leave it

*request from the pit that Julian was only to happy to supply
^A Lou Reed cover they made a joke about Marky Mark never played this live, but then quickly took the statement back not wanting to make themselves sound like idiots if they were wrong.

Sorry I don't have any photos of the show, the security confiscated a lot, I seriously had to sneak my pen in to write down the setlist. I won't tell where I hide it.

9 Crimes

I'm very excited to say that Damien Rice has announced his new single 9Crimes is coming out in November, and the album is coming out later this year. I've been waiting a long time for his second album to come out and after listening to the new single. (click on the blog title to follow the link to hear it yourself) I got chills Lisa has such a great voice I can't wait. So look for and buy the new album '9' when it comes out.

Sunday

It's my first sunday of the year and i've been fruitful and yet not that busy?
my one and only garden gnome broke over the weekend and so i might have to replace him or mend him.
i need to bath my rats

Music Fest

by dyd09

Here's a photo of one of the four musical groups that came to our library to play. They are the Ogden Buddhist Taiko Group, amazing performers and just a great sound comes from all of those drums. The drummers range from a 10 year old boy to a 89 year old lady. Just a great energy. Plus the photo turned out pretty good.

School has Started

I know I said many things I have now not lived up to, but isn't that life? Living down the dreams we create? I'm enjoying the school year not a lot of big projects but a lot of small ones which is better? I had big hopes of exercising and writing this semester but so far I've gone out walking once and I've only finished my outline up to chapter 18 I think. Yeah not everything I'd hoped for but it's still early in the semester. Problem is I usually find free time spares and when I have it I veg out for an hour. Focus Man Focus.
Career wise I'm doing well and taking on more responsibility, matter of fact I need to make a call excuse me....They put me on hold....hmm I guess I can still type...Sorry I'm back now.
My dreams of world domination are taking a lot longer than I had first thought but I'm the one that picked becoming a Radical Militant Librarian that would slowly build up a following of young minds and mold them into my war pawns, sending them out to do my will and well I shouldn't tell you all my plans now then you could easily avoid them.
I have a few true nemesis, that I have to be care what I say around Yes that means you Deborah! Call me sensitive will you you'll be the first to.. I almost did it again telling my plan before it actually happens...

Things I Don't Understand

I believe in a Supreme Being, God, A Glowing Mist whatever you might call it. So I believe everything has a purpose and order. One of the things I haven't come to understand yet is Butt Hair; why is it there, and why doesn't everyone have it? Is this some small sign that we came from apes? I'm one of the few people that believe in Darwinism and God I'll expound on that in a future time. Why does butt hair exist? I can't understand it. Frankly all it seems to do is get in the way. It's also not very attractive to look at. It's also odd that there isn't a whole lot of rhyme or reason as to who might have it. Can you go to a laser removal company and spread your cheeks and say "thank you please"? Or would they kick you out of the joint? And even if they were willing to zap your butt hairs who would have the guts to do it? Women would but would a guy willingly go in and have it done, not unless he was married and his wife made him. Man women can be down right evil sometimes.

If anyone is willing to spend time thinking about this let me know your thoughts...

The Summer of George is Over

Well I've been ignoring my postings since being out of school. I can't say that I've missed writing but it's also nice getting back to it to. I've finished my history in music and well on my way to volume seven.
This fall semester is going to be busy but I like being busy it makes time go by fast and I frankly can't wait to be done with school. I'm not a big school fan, it's never been a high point in my life. I've always enjoyed self-education more but you can't get the jobs with that so once again the man is keeping me down.

Damn the Man!

There's changes in the air here at the library. My boss is leaving to manage a different department and the girl I replaced is coming back to replace my boss. I like the girl but we've never connected before so I hope we can work well together. There's a lot I like about my current job but a lot that I don't. Being young and in a leadership position is hard because a lot of the people I'm over have issues with me being young and now that the person the person I'm replacing is coming back I think it's only going to make my job harder. I sometimes think I shouldn't worry about it so much, once I get my degree I'll be sent somewhere else and I won't have to deal with them anymore, but then again I might run into this in other places and it's a good idea to learn how to handle it now then saving it for later. The biggest problem is I don't know what to do to fix the problem. And I can't talk to my boss about it because they think everyone is great and perfect and I don't feel like being the one to tell them different especially if they don't believe me so I'm doing a lot of testing of theories right now. If anyone has a suggestion let me know...

My History in Music volume Six; Now that it's the End, What do we do now?

1.Mass Romantics; The New Pornographers- two memories follow this song wherever I go, my first trip to Seattle, and walking around the University of Utah campus singing out loud to this song.
2.Whatever I feel like
3.Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots;The Flaming Lips- This one brings the memory of being dressed in a giant green frog suit and dancing on stage with the flaming lips. Shinning lights into the crowd and at the very end of the set going out into the crowd and hugging everyone I could.
4.The Sound of settling; Death Cab for Cutie- College is over for a time. They came to perform for the end of the year. I love this song in particular because even when we settle we can be happy.
5.For What it's Worth; The Cardigans- I've had this female voice inside my head for years now and I've been trying to match it in different voices, this band comes close. It reminds me of the end of my last semester and right before we started looking for a house.
6.Wonderwall; Cat Power- Another attempt to quiet the voice. A great singer that brings raw emotion I don't hear very often. Her own stuff is amazing but this cover turned me on to her.
7.The Man Comes Around; Johnny Cash- The Last album Cash released before dyeing. It blew me away; I particularly like this song for the great intro and the chorus. It feeds my religious upbringing as well.
8.Float On; Modest Mouse- This one brings me back to moving to Sandy and walking to the Trax station on my way to downtown or school. I saw this guy live and actually got turned off by his personality and sold the three albums I owned but then this song came out and I feel in love with them again I just can see them live or I might hate him all over again.
9.Mr.Brightside; The Killers- This is one of those songs that Jacq turned me onto I didn't really care for them until I saw them live.
10.I Know I Know I Know; Tegan and Sara- the opening band for the Killers. Two small twin girls that can rock. I listened to their CD nostop while house hunting.
11.Cage Fighter
12.The Comeback; The Shout Out Louds- A great band from Sweden that blew me away when I saw them on the Letterman show. This was right after we moved to Layton. It's a great opener.
13.Hallaback Girl;Gwen Stefani- OK this isn't my typical flavor but it brings back memories of mario and Brett and the Main Library that I started working at. Good times with Good People.
14.Don't Phunk With My Heart; The Black Eyed Peas- One more for the road another library song that makes me want to dance dance dance.
15.Mistress;Inara George- I finally found that voice that filled my head. She was up on stage and and singing this song looking right at me, I felt powerless.
16.Do You Realize??;The Flaming Lips-I knew when I first heard this song I'd need to hear it again when my grandfather died. I've been waiting for ten years to say goodbye to him and when it did I wasn't ready.
17.Oh Well;Fiona Apple- This marks a high and low point in my life and the beginning of my marital problems in the newest version. It was after our Tampa trip and seeing fiona and coldplay live. Great show. This song also reminds me of my time cleaning toilets at the north branch early in the mornings I still miss it. I never thought I would but I do.
18.Swallowed in the Sea;Coldplay- This reminds me of shoveling snow at the north branch also I'd sing a long as happy as a frozen pig.
19.Wort Video
20.Story of My Life;Social Distortion- There is no was to better end my history then with this song. In a weird way it describes my life so far.
21.Life Wasted;Pearl Jam- My New life motto
22.Life Wasted Reprise;Pearl Jam- Reminds me of seeing them live in Los Angeles for two nights in a row such a great experience.
23.Happy Trails; Roy Roger- My way of saying thank you for reading and listening to these mixes
24.Appendix: You Are the Everything;R.E.M.- This song belongs on volume three I forgot to add it and since then I kept trying to decide to add it or not to and so finally I did. This is a song that reminds me of Georgia better than any photograph or poem or even smell.
25.That's all folks

Sad Days and Horny Rats

I've been busy these last few weeks finishing up school yesterday was the last day of my first semester, only three more to go yeah!

I got rid of Groucho because he kept trying to bite me and I didn't really care for that. I tried to break him of it by using the Dixie method but that didn't work(just kidding)so the pet store took him back and he's either in a new home or a pythons belly.

That leaves Woody and Marr in their ever bigger rat palace and they are now in the battle over dominance, or they've turned flaming gay. Either way it amusing to watch the first time I saw them going at each other I was a little scared that Woody might be a girl, but then he jumped on Marr and gave a good bump of his own.

The next two weeks should be heavenly I get to read things for fun! and not boring textbooks. I also plan on watching a few movies.

Mates of State/ Death Cab for Cutie

The night started with one of my all time favorite bands to see live. Mates of State, they're a husband and wife combo that play organ and drums and man can they really get the energy going. I loved seeing them in a big stadium nothing like wimbelton but bigger than the normal club that I've seen them in twice before. I think they've reached the status of traveling band(meaning I'm willing to travel to see them play live)
This is their setlist for the night:
Orem Ut 8-8-06
1.Think Long
2.Goods(all in your head)
3.Beautiful Dreamer
4.Fraud in the 80's
5.For the Actor
6.Like U Crazy/Crazy*/Like U Crazy
7.Ha Ha#
8.So Many Ways
9.Punchline$
10.Running Out
*this is Gnarles Barlkey's Hit Crazy they did a cover of half way through their song, I really enjoyed it more than the original.
#this song they dedicated to all the people who've seen them play at Kilby Court a great club in SLC. That's where I saw them the two times before so I liked this.
$this is either about or dedicated to their neighbor



This is my second time to see Death Cab for Cutie play live and I really like these guys. I got to hear the songs I wanted to hear and over all the show was great.
Here's what they played

1.405
2.Your Heart is an Empty Room
3.The New Year
4.We Laugh Indoors
5.Title and Registration
6.Crooked Teeth
7.Summer Skin
8.Photobooth
9.Company Calls
10.Company Calls Epilogue#
11.What Sarah Said
12.Amputationss
13.Soul Meets Body
14.A Movie Script Ending
15.Expo 86
16.We Look Like Giants
17.The Sound of Settling
Encore
18.I Will Follow You into the Dark
19.I'm Going Home*
20.Transatlanticism$
# dedicated to the Mates of State
*this is a cover of The Sonics a great song by the way
$Mates of State came on stage to play and sing with them on this song


Notes:
It smelled like Halloween
fake colors
personalities

My History in Music Volume Five; A New City, Same Old Pieces in Play

1.Shutting the Hell Up
2.Daysleeper; R.E.M.- This song has two memories for me, one remembering the early part of marriage working at both the 7-11 and Ramada, walking to work. It also reminds me of all the job's I've had over my life were I was working late at night while everyone else was asleep.
3.Amy Hit the Atmosphere; Counting Crows- A big part of my life was working at Starwood Hotels and Resorts, a call center that made reservations for people. I was either at school or at the call center working. I had several friends there one in particular was Adam Walker, I actually helped him meet his future wife, one of the few things I can look back at in my life and know I did something good. Adam got me into the Counting Crows, if you remember my traitor friend Joe liked them so I tried to not listen to them, but Adam gave me better memories. Plus they're great road trip band.
4.Actually it's Darkness;Idlewild- Napster was a wonderful thing that might not be totally legal or ethical, but I found some amazing bands through it. My favorite was idlewild; they gave me an energy that I was missing at the time.
5.Proof;Mates of State- My Second favorite napster band. I loving seeing this band live they have a great presence for just two people playing drums and organ. Great music to dance to.
6.Flowers in December;Mazzy Star- This is the beginning of the trouble, I began to realize my marriage wasn't everything I had hoped for, I began to feel alone and not sure if I loved my wife, I'd listen to Mazzy Star while I took showers in the dark.
7.Blue Train;John Coltrane- I continued my downward spiral to a very dark and lonely period of my life that didn't hit bottom until I separated from my wife and was living in a hotel/apt infested with cockroaches and sharing a single bathroom with an entire floor. I often pissed in my sink instead of going to the communal bathroom.
8.Waitin' for a Superman;The Flaming Lips- Something that has always been a solitary joy for me was going to the movies, and for about six months I would hear this song playing before the movie began. It was sad and hopeful and I needed that, it gave me courage.
9.Is This It?;The Strokes- I would listen to this song every morning for a full semester to get myself awake in the morning; it's a great morning song.
10.Seasame Street Assassin
11.Subterranean Homesick Blues;Bob Dylan- When I moved back in with my wife I started a discovery of older rock, and no journey can be started without Bob. I love most of his stuff so it's hard to pick one song but I love singing along to this one.
12.Baba O'Riley;The Who- Any lover of Pearl Jam will have to at some point discover and love the Who. This is one of those great songs, about journeying and fighting till the end. Pearl Jam does a kick ass cover of this song when they close a show.
13.Pink Moon;Nick Drake- I love this song at night; this album is the loudest album. I love listening to it alone.
14.Passenger;Iggy Pop- I seem to have a love for songs that deal with travel and voyeurism; I think it deals with my fears and stability of interaction. Plus this one is also great to sing along with.
15.Psycho Killer;Talking Heads- another fascination I have always had and feared was that of serial killers and what drives them. This song is about the Son of Sam. David does a great job of getting into the head of a killer. It also has a great beat.
16.What do you do here?
17.Where is my Mind?;The Pixies-the first time I heard this song was at the end of FIGHT CLUB. It was and still is the greatest ending of any movie with an appropriate song ever! It blew me away I just sat there and watched the credits roll.
18.The Middle;Jimmy Eat World-This song came around my ten year graduation and caused me to look back and try and better understand what had happened. This song had the same emotions I felt then, so it's one of those I went through hell and survived songs.
19.Seven Nation Army;The White Stripes- I began working security at the University Student housing, listening to music and looking into the shadows to try and find something that was never there. It was always strange. A great song to sing along to at 2am. I also later found out that Jack White thought as a child that the Salvation Army was called Seven Nation Army. I liked that because I still do that all the time.
20.Mad World;Michael Andrews- This song came from DONNIE DARKO a movie, worth watching by the way. Another reminder about how high school sucked and my suicide days.
21.Volcan0;Damien Rice- I love finding this guy, the whole album rocked my world and I love it, I can't get tired of it. Everything that was missing in music I found on this album. I hear it and remember the best time of my life and the saddest because I knew it would never last.
22.The District Sleeps Tonight;The Postal Service- This is one of the last bands I found before graduating, I enjoy the music and words it's just fun and meaningful. Another great band to listen to right after the sun sets and you’re driving with the window down.
23.Bert and Ernie

The Story Behind D.Y.D.

I've had a ton of people ask me over the years what D.Y.D. means and I've always been vague and never really told anyone what it truly means, so why should you be any different.

This is what I will tell:

I came up with the name for my new band in High School, I had just ended my friendship with Joe Nuss and I was pissed so I was thinking up names, Oh by the way our old band name was JFK it stood for Jerk For Kalifornia (we came up with that before the Brad Pitt movie). Back to the story- I was sitting in church not paying attention like normal and I came up with DYD, now I've always been drawn to band names that don't conjure up images that pigeon hole the band. Like R.E.M., or U2, or Idlewild. So I liked the name but I wanted it to stand for something so I came up with the name that I won't tell anyone, well that's a lie a few people over the years have either guessed it or I told, but the number is low like 5 to 8 and out of those people I only think about 3 even remember it still to this day I came up with the name in 1994 or 1995 so it's been around awhile. As soon as I came up with the name I knew I wouldn't be able to tell everyone what it meant so It grew into this evolving name, I had visions of naming each album with a different version like do you dream, or don't you die, or dance young disco, all kinds of names are out there. But my dreams of musical stardom are slowly fading and D.Y.D. has taken on a new meaning of anything I do that is an expression of myself I tag on the name, so my writing or art I'll use it. One day I'd like to license it or use it as the name for my copyrights. Who knows the sky is the limits.

Here's a something for the kiddies to do at night or for any crack whores coming down from a high. If you can come up with the original Title I'll send you a surprise. And if there is anyone I don't personally know that figures it out leave your email address with your answer so I can send it to you.

Woody and Groucho

I've been wanting to get Marr my Blue rat a new roommate since Floyd went and had a stroke, but I've been nervous due to the fact that Marr is so calm and easy going that Floyd just bossed him around and almost abused him. I didn't want that to happen again, so I figured that I needed to buy two rats that way whoever became the Alpha Rat there would at least be one other rat that would be nice to Marr. The only problem with having three rats is the cage I have is too small for three so I'd have to buy a bigger cage.
With these thoughts in mind I went to the local pet store and bought Woody and Groucho, they are two smaller fancy rats, Yeah I don't like that name either. Woody is a brown/tan and white rat, named after Woody Allen. Groucho is black and white and named after Groucho Marx. I'll get photos up soon. I wanted a nice two story cage that was the same size as the one I had before so it would still fit on the same table, but all they had were one story and three story cages. I went home with a three story mansion.
I think it went to Marr's head because he is now taking on a more aggressive Alpha Rat attitude. I'm going to wait a week or two to see if he keeps up the attitude but I think he's sick of being at the bottom and has risen to become dictator of the cage, I just hope he doesn't let the power go to his head and the two peasants revolt.




I went and saw Woody's new movie this weekend. I loved it! I saw that to all his movies but this is one of his better comedies that he's done since the 80's. I recommend it for anyone. It was good to see him in this one. In his last movie he didn't act in it and I missed him. There's just something funny about Woody Allen that just makes me smile and laugh even when he's not trying to be funny.
I love it!

Pete Yorn

This is a few days late but better then never. A great show that turned me back on to Pete Yorn. The energy was amazing and Pete was just great very friendly and talkative. we had a few sing-a-longs as well as a great setlist. I meet Pete's Cousin Max I believe it was loud in the club so I might be off a little. He's a great dancer by the way. He also ran the merchandise sales I got a few things. So thanks Max for the deal on the shirt!

here is the setlist for the show:
July 26, 2006 - Salt Lake City, UT - Club Sound

PY solo acoustic:
For Nancy
Vampyre
I Feel Good Again* (*Junior Kimbrough cover)
PY & Joe K.:
Lose You
You Never Knew
Closet
June
PY, Joe K., Sid & Mal
Alive
Georgie Boy
Pass Me By
Just Another
Burrito
Long Way Down
Black
Turn of the Century
There Is A Light That Never Goes Out* (*The Smiths cover)
For Us
Life on a Chain
The Good Advice
Suspicious Minds* (*Elvis Presley cover)

Encore:
PY & Joe K.:
All At Once
Full Band
: Never My Love* (*The Association cover)
Atlantic City* (*Bruce Springsteen cover) > Murray
Strange Condition
Crystal Village
PY solo:
EZ

Get it While You Can

The cookbook might be coming to an end, now I don't condone or agree with all that is in the book and yes I've read it. I do however think it's wrong that they are being banned so I'm supporting those that have a few extra bucks to buy one and not let the banners win.

My History in Music Volume Four; Everyone I Know Goes Away in the End

1.Annoying
2.Immortality;Pearl Jam- working at my first factory job, alone feeling ok about it
3.Fall on Me;R.E.M.- The first time I got to see R.E.M. in concert and it was amazing. I wore my dress, Davis was with me and we danced and laughed A girl next to us took her shirt off so that made us smile and after the show a group of four girls attacked me and ripped my dress off my body leaving me with only me shorts to go home in, it was a great night.
4.The Godfather Waltz;The Godfather Soundtrack- One day Scott, Davis, and I spent the whole day watching the trilogy. I love these movies. It's hard to express how much fun we had doing nothing at all really.
5.Nightswimming;R.E.M.- the last summer of my youth I discovered nightswimming, the act of swimming naked at night, the first couple of times I went alone and it became a religious experience fro me floating on my back in a lake or pond looking at the stars and moon. Later I would invite Scott and Davis to join me and that was fun. The last time I did it I invited a girl named Erin, she was shy so she wore her underwear which was just fine.
6.Supernaught; 1,000 Homo DJ's- this was a side project for Trent Reznor. Davis found it and turned me on to it. It reminds me of our last trip and time together. He was going to school at the university of Wyoming with Scott, so I went with him and stayed with the two of them a couple of days before school started, we had a time.
7.Hurt;Nine Inch Nails- I had a feeling before I left that I would never see my friends again, but then I also thought we were to close to ever separate. I should have trusted my feelings. While I was gone no one wrote me more then one or two letters, not even Davis my closest friend wrote me once a year for two years, even thought I wrote him nearly every week. Everyone I knew went away in the end
8.Alive;Pearl Jam- the night before I left I played my two most favorite songs, these two songs also helped me more than any other song to battle my depression and gave me the will to keep going.
9.It's the End of the World as We Know it(and I feel fine);R.E.M.- I love this one because I've had times where I felt like I'd reached the end of my world and so whenever I feel that way I try and remember this song and sing along.
10.Log
11.Fat Bottom Girls;Queen- My Trainer use to sing the chorus to this song everytime we go on our bikes.
12.Glycerine;Bush- I heard this at a friends house during thanksgiving and I thought it was beautiful. It always takes me back there when I hear it.
13. Visur Vant Sendan Rous;Bjork- I heard this from my favorite companion and who would later be a roommate in college. It's a haunting song. It's sung in Icelandic and I hope I never find out what she's saying, it can't match the emotion.
14.Alkaseltzer
15.Sometimes;Pearl Jam- When I came back my friends were all gone and I couldn't live in Evanston, WY anymore so I moved down to West Point, UT and moved in with my aunt and shared a room with my cousin Zack. This song reminds me of driving around alone exploring.
16.So Fast So Numb;R.E.M.- This songs reminds me of driving across Wyoming when I went to visit Davis at school and to visit Anna a girl I had meet in high school debate club competitions, but due to my misguided loyalty to Julie I never did anything but now I was free, we had a few good months together.
17.Pilgrimage;R.E.M.- The second job and last one before I leaving for college was at Autoliv an airbag factory in Roy/Ogden that my cousin helped me get. During this period I was getting into the early R.E.M. and reading and watching movies it was a fun time of exploration.
18.Here Comes Your Man;The Pixies- This is a RIck's song, a song I heard at dances and in my new friend's apt. An old favorite that took on a new life with new memories. I even knew a guy who sung it in a pizza parlor with his band.
19.It's Not Unusual;Tom Jones- There was a great thrift store in Rexburg, Id and I found this great record of Tom Jones and I loved it. This is one of those songs that brings out the playful side of me.
20.Dancing with Myself;Billy Idol- The 80's were big in Idaho, and this is one of those standard songs that everyone loves.
21.Forever;Ben Harper-This song is Jacqueline she gave me a mix with this song on it. She even used lines from the song to put on the inside of my ring. It describes her point of view perfectly.
22.Woody Allen- the next biggest influence in my life. I was introduced to him and his movies in my first semester of college once we moved to Salt Lake.

Ache In Reverse0

yellow peas that follow the written word of God translated into Greek to speak of strangers and the things they want to offer me I don't need another monkey on my back. Children and their parents feed the need to castrate myself before I can become one of these drones/ don't get me wrong I want children but do I have to ignore them and allow them to pick their nose like a man might dig a trench for survival? The wrong answers are always my fault and all I wanted was the customer to be helped and yet it’s my fault you’re rooting away in a dumpster full of grass and recycled paper we tell them we're saving the world while we help push the needle in deeper. I am not this animal I am the other. The reason we can't see heaven in the skies at night and the man next to me won't shut the hell up!
Is it normal to imagine what it might feel like to push a pencil in too deep to retracted? Let me reword that and say I love everything about you but that. That one true form of injustice. Why can't you shut up and listen to the music flow out into the hot night air and watch the homeless tap their feet. Or is it the rhythm of the pop cans hitting the street from dumpster level that keeps you going.
This poem is not about a burrito, but I’d love to buy you know and share it if we could just for once sit and talk face to face damn this limit. I will see you in the paper and movies and want ads for Bigfoot’s proof
All we ever want is proof
That we are in fact alive and not in some vacuum without friction or light to bounce off of.
The bananas might be free with one other choice but I will not dry them and save them for the day Teddy warned us about on his famous march up Bunker Hill or Bull Run or some God awful mountain/plain/swamp that men will spill their blood over to own
To gain a new disease.
Will he never shut up?
I hate this life you've made me I don't want it and it will never end
Damn that monkey card for all the good it will do.
I swear I was alive once and not just once but more than anyone else I have ever seen
And the good I did was as close to magic as we will ever see in this life...

Marshmallow Gun

At work today I got one of the best birthday presents from a fellow staffer. He made me a marshmallow gun out of PVC pipes. It's basically a blow gun but with a handle and a magazine on top to store the marshmallows. I can't wait to take it to the fair this year and feed the seagulls as well as enjoy myself.

I finished my last two papers this weekend over my birthday and I feel great, the stress levels have lowered and I'm enjoying myself a lot.

My marriage is going along well, we've come to a comfortable calm, the counseling is going well and I can tell it's making a difference. I still don't know if things will last in the end, it still comes down to how different we are in the way we look at life and the world around us.

I have a mystery that I can't solve; someone placed a children's book on hold for me and it was a great book, "Don't Worry Be Happy"




but everyone I've talked to said they didn't put it on hold for me so I'm wondering what is going on? Do I have a dual personality and it's more depressed than I am?

I'll keep you posted on the case if it evolves.

Thirty and A Day

My 30th birthday went off without a bang more of a whoopee cushion. I can't complain, I'm not dead and for now the hair on my back doesn't seem to be spreading as fast as it use to. Maybe I'm finally done with puberty. I got my first grade from my first class in library school and it's an A so I'm keeping my fingers crossed it's the next class I'm worried about. I just finished a 12 page paper for my Ethics class and I'm worried so once that comes in and it's good I'll be pleased.
I saw Clerks II yesterday and I have to say it was very funny and very lewd and disgusting and even offensive to most people, I LOVED IT! I enjoy being socked and appalled by humor so bring on the trilogy.
I'm thinking it's about time to get Marr a new room mate, I'm not going to get another hairless though. They are really cute but they don't seem to like being pet as much as the rats with hair do. Last night I finally got Marr to do the grinding of his teeth and bug eye dance that rats do when you pet them in the right place it was a great birthday present.

Candy From Mexico

Candy from Mexico

Jon will you pick me up some
Candy from Mexico?
The kind with the cheap plastic wrappers -
seem to stick to the candy.
Forcing you to suck on it,
lose the wrapper.

Jon, it’s the candy that
feeds the children’s family.
The ones waiting under the trees,
looking up to the top.
You said you made the summit,
But then we never saw you descend.

Jon on your way
can you pick me up some candy,
from Mexico.
Pepper bacon,
Water bottle used in soccer.
Marathons in the sun, the muddy hill.
Fear stains olive oil.
Hunter’s pay in the winter ring.
Shallow wave over shoulder.

If you have the time Jon,
would you be willing,
to pick me up some candy from
Mexico?

Pearl Jam is not DEAD

I had a great time in Los Angeles. The two nights of Pearl Jam were great! I'm not a die hard fan like some who goto several dozen shows each tour. I have a habit of two a tour. This tour I decided to see both the shows back to back. The pictures above are from my two nights. The first nights setlists was;
Pre-Opener Porch
Set 1 Release, World Wide Suicide*, Corduroy, Do The Evolution, Given To Fly, Severed Hand*, Jeremy, Gone*, Even Flow, Unemployable*, Wasted Reprise*, Better Man, Whipping#, Not For You/(Modern Girl)#, Inside Job*, Life Wasted*, Rearviewmirror
Encore 1 Elderly Woman Behind The Counter In A Small Town, Come Back*, Here's to The State of Mississippi#, Black, Crown Of Thorns, Alive
Encore 2 Last Kiss, Comatose*, Why Go#, Big Wave*, Baba O'Riley, Yellow Ledbetter

*-denote songs from the new album. #-denote songs I hadn't yet heard live and are from past albums.

I really love their new album so I was excited to hear a lot of it the first night. It was also my first time to see Ed do a pre-opener song, this is where he comes out before the opening band and does a song by himself. It was also the first time to see the band close the night with the lights on for two songs, usually you know the nights over when they turn all the lights on in the arena, but that first night they turned them on for Baba O'Riley and then the band began to leave and Mike started in to Yellow Ledbetter. He ended the song playing the national anthem. I haven't ever heard anyone attempt this outside of Jimi Hendrix. I was amazed and pretty close to Jimi's version. A great night.



The second nights setlist;

Pre-Opener Walking The Cow#
Set 1 World Wide Suicide*, Brain Of J., Animal, Marker In The Sand*, Severed Hand*, Even Flow, MFC#, I Got Id, Corduroy, Daughter/(It's Ok)/(I Believe In Miracles)/(Blitzkrieg Bop), Sad#, Garden#, Down#, Go, Better Man/(Save it for Later), I Must Not Think Bad Thoughts#, Porch
Encore 1 Man Of The Hour#, Off He Goes#, Footsteps, Once#, Alive
Encore 2 Big Wave*, Comatose*, State Of Love And Trust, Leash#, Rockin' In The Free World

*-denote songs from the new album. #-denote songs I hadn't yet heard live and are from past albums.

I was worried the second night wouldn't have as much energy as the first night but I was wrong. The second night there was a lot more audience singing and energy. It made for a great night. In the end I was worn out and left very sour the next day. I might be getting too old for rock shows, but then again I might not.
the highlights were Garden, Off He Goes, Leash, and the trilogy in reverse order.

It was hard leaving for home but then again I'm not a huge California fan so It wasn't to hard to leave.

Rest In Peace Floyd

Right before my trip I had to do one of the harder things in my life. Poor little hairless Floyd had a stroke and wasnt able to eat or walk, so I had to put him to rest. So I hope you're at peace and sleeping well, and there are no cats or cages.

My History in Music; Falling to Stand Up Volume Three

It's been awhile sorry.

1.Weinerschitzel; The Descendents- If there were one song I put on nearly every mix I ever made it would be this. A great song that always makes me smile.
2.Dingo
3.What's the Frequency Kenneth?; R.E.M.- This is one of two albums I listed to more than any other in my senior year on High School. From the moment I played this CD I loved it and it makes me want to shake my ass.
4.Animal; Pearl Jam- The second greatest album of my senior year, I remember getting up early and driving to school during the winter, it was so cold that the tape player in my truck played the whole first side of the tape slow, just before I got to school it started sounding normal.
5.Perfect Blue Buildings; Counting Crows- this is Joe Nuss, my first friend after I got back from Alaska and anything off this album makes me think of him.
6.all apologies; Nirvana- the end of my senior year Kurt killed himself and it affected my life at the time I was also thinking about suicide and it almost seemed inviting when he did it.
7.Let Me In; R.E.M.- a tribute to Kurt and a great song about not belonging and feeling guilty for it. It touched a chord in me I still feel.
8.power
9.Detachable Penis; King missile- This is Carolyn, she was the flirt and main girl in my group of friends, she and Andy dated for awhile, but she flirted with all of us. After Andy broke up with her she hung out with me and Davis a lot more. Soon the two of them got close, she always liked the funny perverted songs.
10.Ballon Man; Robyn Hitchcock and the Egyptians- The first "funny" song that I really loved that still had a goofy message but at the same time it helped me not to take life so seriously.
11.Radio Friendly Unit Shifter; Nirvana- this is my second favorite Nirvana song and it reminds me of two things, graduated High School and my first rock concert seeing Nirvana live will always be a great moment in my life especially after the fact he killed himself soon afterwards.
12.Closer; Nine Inch Nails- During the summer after I graduated I was still lonely and missing Julie. I went my senior year without a girlfriend out of some form of loyalty. Davis thought it was stupid and Carolyn loved the challenge to try and take my virgin lips. So the two of them conspired against me and one night after a group party they took me for a drive. We parked near a park and Carolyn told me she wanted me to do whatever I wanted to her. After 18 years any boy would jump at the chance and so we began to kiss and soon Davis joined the mix, he lifted her shirt up and I saw my first real live breast. It was magical. I went home a virgin but my lips didn't.
13.Big Time Sensuality; Bjork- it was nearing the end of the summer and I was working at Taco Time, when a friend came in and had the biggest grin on his face, which wasn't abnormal for him. I smiled back and then she walked out from behind him and I was hit by a semi. Standing infront of me was JULIE! She had come back even if she was a year late. I gave her a hung and couldn't speak, Nathan was all laughs. We made a date to meet the next day.
14.Ring of Fire; Social Distortion- She had come back to goto the UofU. I went to her house at about 6 am and spent the whole day together and the next couple of days together. I wasn't going to make the same mistake and told her how I felt we spent as much time as we could together before school started. We shared our first kiss one night after I worked in the parking lot of Taco Time.
15.Unhappy Birthday; The Smiths-john was julie's boyfriend when she came to town, they didn't last long, but I hated him until she left and we became friends, never really close but we had fun. We talked often about the pain she had caused us. This was his song for her, I'd adopt it soon.
16.Satan's Bed/Already in Love; Pearl Jam- I would goto SLC as often as I could to visit Julie once she started school. This album came out about the same time and I would listen to it while I went to classes with her.
17.Self Esteem; Offspring- Julie told me often about her abusive boyfriend back in CA and how this song reminded her of their relationship. Once again I soon adopted it.
18.Lounge Act; Nirvana- This is my favorite Nirvana song. It fits perfectly for what happened next in my life. Once Julie came back it was like blood in the water. Six of my friends that I knew and trusted, who had all spent time with me as I talked about how I felt towards Julie, during the year and a half while she was in CA. These same six friends all attempted to get romantic with her, while me and Julie were together.
19.Losing My Religion; R.E.M.- My closets friend and the one that hurt the most that went after Julie was Joe. He knew better than the rest and he still went after her and did it openly. After one party where the two of them spent the whole time alone they came to me for a ride back to her place. The nerve, but of course I said yes. The three of us got into my truck and the first song to play was this one. It was the first time I realized what the song was about. You need to know that the phrase "losing my religion" is a southern phrase that means at the end of my rope or wits end. I have never been betrayed like I was then. The only thing that hurt me more was the fact that Julie didn't try and discourage any of them. I would later end my friendship with them both over this night.
20.Big Long Now; Nirvana- it was worse now then it had ever been my best friend had betrayed me and my girlfriend, my first love had not been honest with me or even monogamous she was having a relationship with seven guys at one time. I felt like a fool and felt alone, I fell into a dark deep pit. I had given Julie my ring and now I wanted it back so I called her and asked her to find it and I'd come and get it. I met her at the door of her house, a door I spent many wonderful moments passing through. She opened the door and I held out my hand saying nothing, she put the ring into my hand and I walked away I've never seen her since.
21. Country Feedback; R.E.M.- This is the saddest song I've ever heard it still affects me like no other song can. It brings me to that dark place every time I hear it. Soon after I lost my friends and Julie my first love my depression worsened. For two years I was beaten down to a fragile shell and my one hope was my first love and friends. Then those were lost to me, they acted as a catalyst that took me all the way to the bottom. I found myself in my room one day after hunting with my dad. In the corner was my rifle and pistol. I took the loaded handgun out of it's holster and pulled the hammer back and stared down the barrel, looking into the dark. I took one last look around my room looking for a reason not to pull the trigger. I saw my crate of poems and knew if I killed myself no one would really know why I did it because no one would be able to read my handwriting, so I decided to wait until I typed up my poems before killing myself. During that process I got some help and by the time I had finished I didn't want to kill myself anymore.
22.Fight; The Cure- Lucky for me I soon found help by going to a shrink and talking about my problems and why I didn't want to live anymore. One of the major factors besides the shrink was my friends Scott and Davis. Scott had made me a mix with this song on it and it gave me hope each time I heard it.
23.Hairless

Pictures

These are my boys! Floyd the little hairless and Marr the Big Blue. They are great!

In a Thesis

I just found out I am going to be mentioned in a Doctrial Thesis, due to me giving aid at the library so that is very cool.

What's The 4th to You?

I found the reason and it's mine.
Last week of school for two of my three classes so I'm going to have some free time soon which will be very nice, I'll be able to come and visit more. I need to update my history in music. Last time I did volume 2 and I made it all the way up to volume six so I have a lot of typing to do to catch up. So that will be fun, plus my California trip is at the end of this week so that will provide me with things to write to you about. So until then carry on and we'll speak later...

It's good bye to Cool Hand Luke as my Photo on my Profile and Hello to the real me. I wish I looked as good as Newman, but here I am in the Flesh. Mind the Glasses they are the old ones soon I'll have a PIC with the new ones on here for the Fans.

104 Things to do Before I Die

1. Ride in a hot air balloon
2. Get certified in scuba diving
3. Publish a novel
4. Paint an oil painting
5. Have Kids
6. Tour Graceland
7. Sleep under the stars at 75
8. Steal a yield Sign
9. Build a ship in a bottle
10. Perform in front of a crowd
11. Write in each style of writing
12. Retype my poems
13. Run in the New York Marathon
14. Type my journal (I've started this one)
15. Keep a Journal (the blog works right?)
16. Graduate from College (in the middle right now)
17. Ride on a Train (did this on my last trip to England)
18. Fly a Remote controlled Airplane
19. Pet a Big Cat (leopard, tiger, etc.)
20. Ride in a helicopter
21. Learn to fly fish
22. Shoot a crossbow
23. Build a trebuchet
24. Work in a record store
25. Set up a squirrel feeder in my back yard
26. Plant a tree
27. Grow a garden
28. Eat sushi (I love this)
29. Build my kids a tree house
30. Launch a rocket
31. Play paint ball
32. Visit a cave (done this a few times love caves)
33. Take up bird watching
34. Keep a meditation journal
35. Cut down my own Christmas tree
36. Climb a tree at eighty
37. Sky dive
38. Mine for gold
39. Build a sculpture
40. Do my genealogy
41. Serve on a jury
42. Own a sword
43. Own a stuffed squirrel
44. Own a life sized suite of armor
45. Read all of the Harvard classics
46. Read all of Kurt Vonnegut's books (about halfway)
47. Learn to fence
48. Learn to play the guitar
49. Learn to play a harmonica
50. Learn to play chess (I'm a beginner I'd like to find a practice partner)
51. Learn to fly a plane
52. Learn Latin
53. Own season tickets to the symphony
54. Own season tickets to the opera
55. Watch a space shuttle launch
56. Watch a bull fight (even thought I think it is morally wrong)
57. Take part in the running of the bulls (give Karma a chance to get me back for watching a bull fight)
58. Watch a demolition derby
59. Watch a dog race
60. See a Broadway play (I saw Chicago, but I'd like to see more)
61. See Idlewild live (I've seen them three times since the creation of the list)
62. See the Flaming Lips live (I've seen them twice and been on stage with them for on of the times)
63. Go to a Monster Truck Rally
64. Go to a Jazz club
65. Go to the David Letterman Show
66. Go to the Conan O'Brien Show
67. Go to the Saturday Night Live Show
68. Go river rafting (Done this once but I want to do it more)
69. Go to an Auction
70. Go on a treasure hunt
71. Go on a cruise
72. Save the world for two years or so
73. Go night swimming at least once a year
74. Learn to Bow hunt
75. Make a pair of Pants
76. Make an album
77. Make a sand castle on both coasts
78. Make something out of Popsicle sticks (I'm sure I did this when I was little but I think it would be fun to do it again)
79. Make my own camera
80. Make a walking stick
81. Make something out of leather (done this a few times but I want something really cool)
82. Shake the hand of a prophet
83. Shake the hand of Edward Louis Severson III
84. Shake the hand of John Michael Stipe
85. Be on the Simpson's
86. Be in the tabloids
87. Be in a play (I've also done this but I like it a lot)
88. Be an extra in a movie
89. Visit New York (done this)
90. Visit Texasarkana
91. Visit Athens, Ga
92. Visit London (done this twice)
93. Visit Paris
94. Visit Rome
95. Visit Ireland
96. Visit Scotland (did it)
97. Visit Germany
98. Visit important historical sites of America
99. Spend a day in each of the states
100. Visit each continent including Antarctica
101. Visit count Dracula's Castle
102. Visit Jerusalem
103. Visit Hell, Michigan
104. Visit the unclaimed baggage center in Scottsboro, AZ

Dance Monkey Dance

this one goes with my award

This is Just a Test

Here's a picture of me and Rebecca and Scott Jones at Mr. Bill's birthday party. It's more of an attempt at adding pictures to posts then an actual post.

Cracks In-Between

Dragonflies trapped in
black and white.
It’s the buildings he sees, in
a state of crumbling fear.
Disregard
I heard voices calling
your name. You’ve stopped visiting
my sleep, like a lover visiting
a grave. Nothing left
to say, we call it rivalry.

I know heaven, hell
that isn’t the issue, where
am I headed. She tells me
we’re glued together,
what she can’t see is the way I’m
peeling. Back to back
carrying the weight, our world.
Waiting for an edge.

It seems there are cracks
to the greatest love, We see
in-between movie frames.
Sing me Moon River
in a smoky club, blue
light hair, curling lips.
The way piano’s tickle the spine.

Lay me down, in clouds
of confusion. Wondering if I
had cancer, would you finally see me
for whom I am what I want.
It still leaves me to believe
cradled fear will crumble.
Songs will turn to hums.
We forget the things we don’t say.
Feelings left unfelt.
Buildings in misuse.

Rrrrrr I'm a Pirate

So today I'm going to do a book discussion with a group of teenagers about treasure Island. It will be my first so I'm not sure how I'm going to do but after all they are just teenagers it takes a lot to impress them so I won't feel bad if they leave pissed at the world. I have two fun things and a quiz and then the basic discussion that I don't plan on getting much responses to. But the fun things are a home made boat building contest to see which ones can float the best and then we're going to make jewelry, no good pirate would be seen without jewelry right? Anyways I think it's only going to be for an hour so we shall see... Nothing else to report went to counseling the other day and it seems that all women want to change their husbands and all men want their wives to stay the same? So maybe if this one doesn't work I think I still might join a monastery... The rats are still being anti-social, it's life for you when you're lonely and you buy animals for companionship and they turn out to be anti-social...

Rats...they don't eat the blood off of loved one's feet

So I was reading something a friends wrote and I made a quick choice to go out and buy two rats. I have to say I like them very much, but being new to the whole things we'll see how it all goes. I got two, a Blue rat, with a solid blue coat named Marr and a Hairless rat(which aren't really hairless they have a small amount of peach fuzz) his name is Floyd. Marr is a bit older then Floyd about twice floyd's size but is very mellow and calm. Floyd is a nervous ball of energy and seems to love running around in teh cage and climbing the walls and playing monkey bars with the roof. He also seems to eat constantly. He also sneezes a lot and I'm wondering if he is allergic to me? I need to go on line and figure out how long I need to wait before I start to explore the house outside of the cage? It's a big house for two little rats and I don't want them to get lost or stuck somewhere, I'm also wondering if they are potty trained I don't really want them to crap outside of the cage so we'll see what I can find on line.
School is still crazy and out of control these first two weeks seem to have killed me , but I'm starting to get some ideas on how to spread the stress so it's not so hard to deal with, I'll report back on that later. counceling is going better now that i feel more comfortable with the shrink and we're getting into more meaty topics. so all and all this are working nothing is at a stand still, work is in full summer mode with all of it's reading programs and such. I don't have anything funny to say so see ya...

Rats...They don't starve the poor so they can be well fed

So I was reading something a friends wrote and I made a quick choice to go out and buy two rats. I have to say I like them very much, but being new to the whole thing we'll see how it all goes. I got two, a Blue rat, with a solid blue coat named Marr and a Hairless rat(which aren't really hairless they have a small amount of peach fuzz) his name is Floyd. Marr is a bit older then Floyd about twice floyd's size but is very mellow and calm. Floyd is a nervous ball of energy and seems to love running around in the cage and climbing the walls and playing monkey bars with the roof. He also seems to eat constantly. He also sneezes a lot and I'm wondering if he is allergic to me? I need to go on line and figure out how long I need to wait before I start to explore the house outside of the cage? It's a big house for two little rats and I don't want them to get lost or stuck somewhere, I'm also wondering if they are potty trained I don't really want them to crap outside of the cage so we'll see what I can find on line.
School is still crazy and out of control these first two weeks seem to have killed me , but I'm starting to get some ideas on how to spread the stress so it's not so hard to deal with, I'll report back on that later. counceling is going better now that i feel more comfortable with the shrink and we're getting into more meaty topics. so all and all this are working nothing is at a stand still, work is in full summer mode with all of it's reading programs and such. I don't have anything funny to say so see ya...

Thunder

Yesterday was a beautiful day full of thunder and lighting. I drove home watching the clouds light up and hearing the world shake. I get romantic when I think about rain, I want to move somewhere that rains all the time either Savannah, GA or Seattle, WA either one would be great most likely Seattle it's a bit cooler there. Plus I've already spent a lot of time in Savannah so I would like to try something new. The other day we had a crazy lady well really she's a regular, but still crazy she has holding a deposition at the library in one of our conference rooms and her father was yelling at the lawyers and they told him he was out of order and he yelled back they were out of order and they were threatening to call the cops so she came out of the room and asked me to throw the lawyers out of the library, so of course we called the police and let them deal with the room full of crazies. Ah the joy of library work, it's rarely boring. All I can do is enjoy the thunder and the rain as it hits the glass... Sorry my thoughts have become more fractured since starting school.

Standing to Save Popcorn

All I can say about this last week is WOW. I nearly had three heart attacks, one new ulcer, and five new grey hairs. The first week of Grad. School is finished and I'm still alive. My marriage is still in ruins. Other then that I can't complain. The highlight of my week was standing in the back of the Library Director's truck full of supplies for a local event holding the Popcorn machine in hopes that it or I wouldn't fall out on the downhill ride to the event. I took stock of my life and found I am failing in all major areas and all I can say now is there's only up from here, I hope...

I Want a Warning

For all my rabid fans out there I have to apologize in advance. I just started my first semester into my graduate program and already my time is being sucked up faster then a drunk sucks spilt beer. So the postings may be either short or long spaced but no fear I shall return

Days and Weeks

I visited my Grandfather's grave yesterday, it's the first time I've seen his headstone, it was good. I was happy to see it so well taken care of and the American flag by his grave. It's weird visiting a grave of someone I actually remember. I'm pretty lucky to have gone this long without losing someone.

My Pirate Name

Cap'n brannigan Wild-arms, the filthiest hornswaggler that ever swashbuckled this side of the British Isles.

thanks to the website: http://www.geocities.com/savedbypiercing2/name.html

Blush

I want to make you blush,
to see blood rush.
Ruby red mixing in white,
stuck in my head
need.

To see your face,
face the things i want
to say.
The outline of your neck, to trace
with pieces of me.
A need to see you blush,
by the things I want to taste.
Parts to place in place,
voice delight in the touch.

In the end, when it comes,
To feel the heat,
from our friction.
The final feelings of elation,
to know I made you blush.

Waiting on a Phone to be Threatened by a Antelope

The sound of static over the phone waiting to be treated sorely by a fellow colleague, you see I have a bad habit of teasing and harassing but all in good fun well sometimes I go too far and either annoy some people or even hurt their feelings so I have to be careful. well I was teasing this particular colleague that I think is pretty cool and would like to consider a friend but that's a whole other issue of when and even if you can be friends with colleagues. Back to the story at hand, so I like have fun with the said colleague. I gave this colleague a nickname that really wasn't the best nickname if I had thought about it a little, but of course I went ahead and trusted my "harassment" gut and used it well it didn't go off so well. Now I think I might have made my fellow colleague mad so I’m going to have to be really nice and that usually means I have to leave the person alone for awhile. Oh bother, you would think I’d have learned my lesson years ago but of course I haven't.
It’s a lonely road to walk that of a teaser... queue sad music and fade to grainy black and white...

Well not much planned for the weekend that being the memorial weekend. I’ll probably make my way to visit my Aunt and Grandpa's graves and I might also go get my vision checked and get a new pair of eyeglasses. I’ve been totting the same style now for about 12 years so I think I’m due a change. The problem is that I like my current style of glasses the 1950's solid black thick frames. I’ve had different styles of the same concept over the 12 years but all very similar I’ve done the solid black the black top and wire bottom and finally the black top that fades into a clear bottom, all very cool and unique. I’ve noticed that a lot more people have been wearing the style and that's one of the major reasons I want to change. "It's been done" as one of my favorite Poets once said. So we shall see...

Lastly I went to my fifth married counseling session today it was pretty good. I learned about the goldilocks syndrome. People are either the aggressive or passive in relationships. Commonly one person puts forward more effort than the other in different parts of the relationship for example being intimate. So one wants it more than the other and so naturally they pursue the other which makes the other naturally flee. Now if both partners are aware of this then they can learn to live with each other's style for example the pursuer can learn not to push themselves on to their partner so forcefully while the partner can learn that if they give into the other then they are quickly satisfied and then will leave them in peace. Now each person and each relationship has different sized buffers so the key is to find the comfortable place for the two people hence goldilocks not too cold not too hot but just right.
Another thing we learned is that there are different ways of looking at life and relationships one is a day to day approach the other is life time commitment. now of course my wife and I are different I’m a day to day guy and she's a life time commitment girl, but we have to agree to live the same way otherwise neither one will ultimately feel comfortable, wither I’ll feel smothered and pressure to perform for a lifetime or she will feel unloved and neglected because I don't look into the future as much as she does.
So basically we both have to learn to find the just right buffer between us and we have to decide how we're going to look at life and our marriage a day to day deal or a life time/eternal outlook. I’ll keep you informed.

Vortex Bait

So a friend is off to visit the vortexs in Arizona, I've been told they are a healing energy that comes up from the earths core. I wonder if they could cure migraines? I get headaches a lot. I mean one or two a week sometimes more. I think I have a tumor. Wouldn't that be a way to go. Die from brain swelling up till it pops like a ripe watermelon. I could be sitting next to some one on a bus and POP! That would be a story to tell some body. Wouldn't that be great you'd live on in fame because your head exploded, I could be a total shmuck, and still live for centuries because I was the guy that popped.
Hmm...

Glass Tables and Holding in a Fart

Today has been a day for the history books. It started with me going to an early morning meeting at the main library. It’s great to watch a large gathering of librarians in the morning, first of all their either coming in like zombies because they haven't had their coffee yet or their like Pomeranians with an I.V. of coffee in them. It’s great either way. I also enjoy how when one librarian is giving a meeting all the other constantly correct him it’s like being in a room full of editors. My only problem with the early morning meetings is the fact that I am a man of morning gas and I enjoy my morning gas it's my homegrown coffee if you would. So while everyone can enjoy their coffee or sleep on the back row I’m stuck in the middle with big time back up below. Now I admit that gas for other people isn't as fun so I try and be polite and not release the valves as one might say. oh the pain it brings and the problems, for example while I was a half hour into the hour and a half long meeting I was at the point of either passing out from holding it in or near internal explosion of some kind. To my horror about ten minutes before the meeting ended it went backwards as if it to gave up hope and tried to find its way up and out instead of being more patient. That ruined the rest of my morning from that point on I had an internal rebellion and no gas would pass.
My other adventure today was due to a program in our library system that gives away books to the poor and migrant kids. so anyway we get tons of boxes of books through grants and donations and we have to sort these books so me and another guy were doing this last night and we made organized stacks of boxes based on reading levels so when we store them the boxes are grouped and ready to be used. Well we left the stacks on our big conference table that has a glass top on it to protect the wood. I came in today to put the boxes away and there was a huge crack running half the length of the table. I was freaking out! Those things cost a pretty dime and I was the lucky one that got to tell the library Branch manager, lucky for me she was in a great mood and didn't get made at me for putting the books on the table in the first place.
It’s been a long day and in two hours I plan on going home and drinking a tall glass of cranberry juice...

Time Waiting

The Color is a worn out blue... but the sentiment still stands that forever the day will stand and I will not find that purple mountain majestic instead I’d prefer a shaded cave. You scream dishonesty and selfishness. I will not live forever I reply. Firmly in hand I shake the life out of mind and squeeze drops of blood from my skin only to find myself used and disavowed. Mortal octopus’s games and creepy clowns follow above my car as the paper dragon destroys itself to protect me; the verse says it so well I will not repeat it. forward thinking corporations will save me like a mice might save a nut for something or someone special, I haven't found my something or someone she says and I keep thinking I’m here somewhere I stand but I don't even know for sure where that is, if only I was in a buried chest you could find me with a map, but only if it were written on sheep's skin. The modern woman will laugh at ‘em and shake her red hair, I don't know what I did that was so funny but then again it could be the fact that it was me that did it. Sorrow and red lips match my dress so well, it's hard to find one that will complement my shoulders and hairy back but with a little juice and beaky the buzzard I think I could find anything for anyone. so she walks the distance and shakes that plump ass of hers saying to herself for me to hear "you'll never touch it, you'll never taste it, but for now you can look" damn her eyes and mine for the things it sees, damn your eyes all to hell, as I hang in front of you like a 17th century French aristocrat, well at lest it wasn't off with my head and all that. Wandering and wondering the muse's music to play the heart strings like a harp and never to touch or caress but to hold and worship. Have you wanted me to make you my religion? Do you want me to sacrifice myself for redemption? I don't even want that part of me showing in private but you demand it of me in public. Screaming into deaf ears will only make the throat hurt...

Two Months and a Day

Some fun facts I found online thanks to brainyhistory.com, about the day of my birth.
1.1st outbreak of "Legionnaire's Disease" kills 29 in Phila
2."Guys and Dolls" opens at Broadway Theater New York City for 239 performances
3.Christopher Ewart-Biggs, British ambassador to Ireland, assassinated

what a cheerful day it was...

Saganaki Flaming Cheese

That's all I have to say about my time at ULA, saganaki flaming cheese. I loved it for those of you who don't know about the dish. It’s a square piece of Finnish cheese that they pour uzza over and then light on fire at the same time everyone cries out "OOPA!" it was a great experience, and so yes the conference was awesome. I went there to have fun and try everything that was offered I only failed at that one time. I was offered to go to a tea party on my last day, but I don't do tea, I can't make my pinky finger stick out very elegantly. Plus I’m not a big fan of cucumber sandwiches. But I did swim each night between 9:30 and 10:30pm the only time to swim is at night in my humble opinion. And I went on a hike each day. Amazing rocks and terrain. I also ate at new places had some great Mongolian bar BQ. I tried to become better acquainted to my fellow librarians that I work with at the different branches and I met the state librarian who was a little upset that I was taking online courses instead of using the state owned program. The classes and lectures were all great except for one. And I even met two authors that shared some great insight into writing, so yes it was a very productive time. I got a speeding ticket on the way home going 90 in a 75 that's what the ticket says but it was actually 92 and if I wasn't going up hill I would have been going 105 so all in all I can't complain.
Yes sir I do believe I’m going back again next year. I only wish I had time to register for ALA, but I’ll be in San Diego next year so keep your eyes out for me...

The Good Days

so I was thinking about the past as I often due, I think that's what makes me enjoy history I love thinking back even on my short life and retracing steps.

My family was never well off or even comfortable financially, we were always struggling to make ends meet. And often my dad had to work two jobs to pay the bills. I remember one time when I had the chance to help the family and my dad, I didn't get a job and pass the pay check off to my parents but I help my dad with his second job.

His primary job was working for the sheriff dept. and he got a second job as a custodian for the school district. Now depending on his schedule at the sheriff's office we would either go in early in the morning or late at night to clean. We cleaned the school district's offices. Two buildings. Now I didn’t need to help my dad but without me he would have gotten a lot less sleep. And I look at any chance to be with my dad as an opportunity, growing up my dad worked in the oilfields and that meant he was always on call and always gone. I missed many holidays without my dad, and the majority of my childhood without him around. It wasn't until I was in high school that he got the job with the sheriff' office and became a constant fixture in he home, so I loved to be around him.

I remember cleaning toilet and vacuuming and emptying trash cans. But I also remember telling jokes and eating breakfast or getting a pop together, riding in the truck. My dad's not a big talker so a lot of the time was quiet but it was still time together. Looking out into the night or early morning. I had a job with taco time as a closer so it was often the case were I’d get off work around midnight and then meet my dad to clean for a few hours, we'd both be tired but we always had fun together.

The good days...

Oh Charlie Brown Where Are You

The day started out good nice and quiet. Then the third graders came to the library to practice their songs. Why is it that kids can't sound like the Charlie brown gang when they sing, so quiet and soft? These mutant monsters are screaming instead of actually singing. uuugg! Or however you'd pronounce Charlie's sound.

My head is clogging up with green slime.

One of the teachers asked if it was too loud I said yes (was that rude?), so she closed the door and I have to tell you it really didn’t help.

So I’ll be going to ULA next week that stands for Utah Library Association, I believe anyways that’s the gist. I’m not sure what I should wear for the conference, tuxedo, and suit, button up with tie, button up, t-shirt, pants, shorts what’s appropriate? I’ll have to ask either way I’d hate to be too or not enough dressy for my first of what will be many conferences involving librarians. Wow that sounds very exciting doesn’t it.

Yeah librarians get a bad rep. for being boring, know it alls, and well most of them are, but on the rare chance they are quite fascinating.

So from Tuesday to Friday I won’t be writing but I hope to have plenty to tell you on Saturday of next week.

I’ll be sharing a room with two basically strangers their librarians that work in different branches and so I don’t really know them all that well. The room only has two beds so I assume I either have to spoon with one of them or sleep on the floor. That alone will be interesting. I found out as I discussed this particular issue with my boss that girls have no problem spooning with complete strangers. Hmm well that is with women they don’t really know that well. I would hope they wouldn’t spoon with any bum off the street. Well maybe I do?

So I also need to tell you about marriage counseling number four. I have to say this one was a lot better compared to the first three. He talked to us about trying to find out what we really want out of a marriage. That way we can know what we’re expecting our partner to do for us and so our partner knows what to do to make the other happy. It gives me hope that things might work out but then again my pessimistic side also wonders if it’s too little too late. We shall see…