Vortex Bait

So a friend is off to visit the vortexs in Arizona, I've been told they are a healing energy that comes up from the earths core. I wonder if they could cure migraines? I get headaches a lot. I mean one or two a week sometimes more. I think I have a tumor. Wouldn't that be a way to go. Die from brain swelling up till it pops like a ripe watermelon. I could be sitting next to some one on a bus and POP! That would be a story to tell some body. Wouldn't that be great you'd live on in fame because your head exploded, I could be a total shmuck, and still live for centuries because I was the guy that popped.
Hmm...