Where is My Mind?

where is my mind... sit on your head and spin it right watch as the little fish keep swim n swim n the moment I give in I give up and I keep asking the water to lower and the man at the facet keeps turning it higher and higher. have I done something to deserve your hatred painted red like Santa’s hat but not the one you'd find on a bobcat, no no no not that one my love you have said it and I have replied and now again and a again I am one and only the statement hurts as it burns down the stub of my throat causeing a train wreck of emotions to teeter off the bridge in my chest hairs, damn I’m hot is it because I’m fat and hairy or the hell the personal hell rising up inside me I don't believe in that anymore I’m good that is to say I haven't slipped today. Shiny new plastic toys sing your mantras and jingles. I will buy whatever you are selling if only you'd stay stay don't go but then again I need this alone time this feeling of abandonment it's an issue to bring up to my care-bear heart support group clinic trial that doesn't at this time support my network system but I’m not a system I am a man that sits alone in the dark wishing for time to play with my toys and read my comic books damn the pain in my head and that reoccurring neck spasm. if it weren't for that constant ringing in my head I’d fall asleep right now but the frequency keeps changing and I can't turn it into white noise the kind of noise the dead use to talk back at us and let us know the coupon I’ve been holding on to get into heaven has expired or required at time of purchase instead of my pocket the one little tinny pocket above the right pocket the one that can only hold a quarter and that isn't much not enough for a phone call or rain coat damn the man as one and forever.