The Thunder Burn

I have a strong desire to disappear. A place no one will recognize me and not a soul will think twice about me. I think this base desire has something to do with pressure valves. I also think it has something to do with the wanderer in each of us. That root of the Neanderthal that hasn't gone completely away yet. It's almost like being an explorer when you go somewhere no one knows you. The people and places take on a stranger curiosity. An almost alien terrain. I didn't know that box would be there by that door I'd say, as if that one sentence would unlock a kingdom or knowledge. The realization that the box is indeed there would allow me to begin to understand the native’s language and customs. The process of simulation and consumption would begin until once again I would crave the desire to be unknown, unfamiliar. Taking the safety of time and place away leaving me to be just be...
I think that's why I like to move so much I like to find new drawers and crawl spaces. I like to be able to wake and be surprised that the trash was picked up on a Tuesday instead of the predictable Thursday schedule.
I also think that is why I don't stay at jobs for very long. I like to be on the edge of not knowing what might happen if I open that door in the back room no one will talk about or the button everyone is afraid to push, because it just might be a panic button that unleashes the Kraken. The last job I had before coming to the Library was two years that had been the longest time I had spent anywhere. In eleven years I had never spent more then 2 years in one place. That was a lot of wandering. and now the last four years I've had two jobs, and I will remain here at least until I've been here five years so my pension and 401k will go with me to my new eve...
Can I claim the rank of wanderer if I wait for such things or do I need to say the hell with it I'm out of here and I may never come back or I might see you on Monday you and I do not know.
What will calm me while I wait? Moving into a different house a new apartment and new car, or do I need to find time for a new hobby, or an old hobby forgotten. They number close to the millions, must like the bones of the dead elephants that litter Africa.
I wonder while I wander...